Leapin' Lizards.

  • police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
  • me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
  • police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook
tastefullyoffensive:

[theoatmeal]

lmaoalien:

starllex:

*takes a selfie* 

image

 

(via pizza)

i always wondered how mice made these holes

image

(Source: connersup, via telernarketing)

embarrassmental:

narcotic:

what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality

image

(via sohowditgo)

blackbarmitzvahs:

Can you imagine the conversation though?
Queen: I’m going
Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…
Queen: I’m going I want cake 
Chief of Staff:
Queen: 
Chief of Staff: 
Queen: I want cake
jetgreguar:

babyferaligator:

madeagoestohell:

yo

the ol razzle dazzle

tommy imma let u in on a secret
im lit as fuck rn
Thanks.
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